I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
