apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
