sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
