You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
