Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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