if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
