he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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