my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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