Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
