Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize