I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
