I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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