i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
