I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
