he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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