i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
