My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
