the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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