we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
