Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
