chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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