So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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