Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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