I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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