how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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