my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
