No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
