I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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