I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
