I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
