We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
