i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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