Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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