I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
