Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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