Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My hand turned me down
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
