Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
