Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
