got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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