If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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