apparently the secret to your success is patron
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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