hell yes lets make some ravioli
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Someone signed my nipple.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
