So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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