But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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