Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
