well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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