CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
