She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
