So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
