I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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