Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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