So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
