Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
