the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
