I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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