Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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