Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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