He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just pee around me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
