He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
