girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
