at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have tasted many bathrooms
how does that bad decision feel?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
