Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
