I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
