So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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