yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize